And thanks to the unsurpassed expertise of @donalmulligan, here's a comprehensive #Eurovision primer for those seeking to learn more about this important annual event:
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/u/0/d/1bsuSIdMnqrMShy_lASEEhNed68oX7vfXz3qWnZvgFk4/htmlview#
finland!
* bangs table *
Finland!!
FINLAND!!!
Greetings, Europe, from the #Ireland jury!
Käärijä and Conor MacSweeney are the same person, don't @ me
#Käärijä
#Eurovision
#Finland
#Ireland
#TheYoungOffenders
#MastoDaoine
Marty Whelan saying somebody is a "huge TikTok person" will never not be funny.
#Portugal - it's a sim from me!
#Switzerland there, attempting to be earnest and worthy, but singing about not wanting to be "a soldier on the frontline" in an Extremely Neutral Country.
I don't think you've anything to worry about, hun.
#Israel are up now, presumably taking a short break from murdering children.
Sorry, #Moldova this flutey business don't impress me much.
EVERYONE RESUME WHAT YOU WERE DOING.
It's the Terrible Pear.
(That's a niche reference.)
Oh no. The well-intentioned #Czechia entry re-worked their staging and it's so much worse.
Brave falsetto, but there's not much else to say about this one, sorry #Netherlands
* sighs resignedly in Irish *
Seconds out, Round 2 - here we go!
Oh dear, poor #Denmark has the vocal skills of me in the shower, the poor poppet.
Oh, I was nodding off nicely to #Armenia and then she goes and kicks off with all of that carry-on.
#Belgium now, having the best time on stage, with a number for the elder gays.
We thank you, Belgium.
#Cyprus - so focused on arm day, he forgot to put on shoes.
He may have good boxing technique, but can he perform?
Well, he's giving the worst lying-down-singing of the contest so far, and WHAT is that enunciation?
But I suppose I have to forgive him, since he's only a wee chungfla.
I very strongly wanted to dislike #Slovenia but this is really quite catchy, and they seem to be a gas enough bunch of messers.
Wait.
#Georgia
I don't understand what's happening.
I'm so confused.
#SanMarino with an ad for never visiting San Marino.
If the Corrs performed with their parents, who made it really obvious that Andrea is their favourite child.
I don't understand it, but I don't hate it.
Her kickboxing technique needs work, like this song needs a bridge or more key-changes.
Another belter, so do Monika justice, #Lithuania !
I refuse to acknowledge Australia's participation in this event.
Wait.
Except to say their staging involves a *car* and cars are trash, so therefore this is trash.
@clickhere I'm gutted for you, that was a good song!
Thanks!
Though, to be fair, I didn't think it was an especially strong song - but I do think it was better than a few of them that got through..
@clickhere For sure, not a winner but def worthy of the final imo
That's very generous of you! (I'm less forgiving..)
@clickhere Ireland's going to have to really step up a bit to qualify in the future. Today's entry was just too standard, and 'everyone together' too sappy. Easily lost. I listened to Ireland's #eurovision winning #TheVoice earlier today, which was stunning. But Ireland hasn't sent anything different and evocative like that in ages.
Yeah, they need to learn how to be genuinely fabulous or genuinely bonkers. This bland stuff is just no.
@clickhere I admit to secretly liking #Jedward's #eurovision entry back in the day from #Ireland. Nice electro backing and catchy track. And, yes, a bit bonkers. I think generic pop doesn't really cut it anymore at Eurovision.
"Lipstick"? That's an absolute banger!
@clickhere yup, that's the one :)
@clickhere A massive round of applause to you for listening through all the songs. I couldn't last it any more! And then you go and post about them! .
We used to have some very good sounds, but we seem to have lost our way a bit. But an honest thanks to you.
Aw, thank you! Just chipping in a little bit to the #Eurovision fest as much as I can. I'm glad you enjoyed the vicarious watching!
@clickhere The guy does a toe day, no worries
If he dropped a weight on his toes, he might be able to hit those high notes..
@clickhere Hard agree! One of my favs from tonight
@clickhere Iceland needs to send more of their original weird stuff. Tonight’s entry was forgettable. To be fair, most of them were.
There was a lot to consider..!
@clickhere our first year without Twitter for Eurovision. :(
@elliottucker It's a change, a wrench.. but I'm okay with it.