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And thanks to the unsurpassed expertise of @donalmulligan, here's a comprehensive #Eurovision primer for those seeking to learn more about this important annual event:
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/u/0/d/1bsuSIdMnqrMShy_lASEEhNed68oX7vfXz3qWnZvgFk4/htmlview#
finland!
* bangs table *
Finland!!
FINLAND!!!
Greetings, Europe, from the #Ireland jury!
Käärijä and Conor MacSweeney are the same person, don't @ me
#Käärijä
#Eurovision
#Finland
#Ireland
#TheYoungOffenders
#MastoDaoine
Marty Whelan saying somebody is a "huge TikTok person" will never not be funny.
#Portugal - it's a sim from me! 
#Switzerland there, attempting to be earnest and worthy, but singing about not wanting to be "a soldier on the frontline" in an Extremely Neutral Country.
I don't think you've anything to worry about, hun.
#Israel are up now, presumably taking a short break from murdering children.
Sorry, #Moldova this flutey business don't impress me much.
EVERYONE RESUME WHAT YOU WERE DOING.
It's the Terrible Pear.
(That's a niche reference.)
Oh no. The well-intentioned #Czechia entry re-worked their staging and it's so much worse. 
Brave falsetto, but there's not much else to say about this one, sorry #Netherlands
* sighs resignedly in Irish *
@clickhere Ireland's going to have to really step up a bit to qualify in the future. Today's entry was just too standard, and 'everyone together' too sappy. Easily lost. I listened to Ireland's #eurovision winning #TheVoice earlier today, which was stunning. But Ireland hasn't sent anything different and evocative like that in ages.
Yeah, they need to learn how to be genuinely fabulous or genuinely bonkers. This bland stuff is just no.
@clickhere I admit to secretly liking #Jedward's #eurovision entry back in the day from #Ireland. Nice electro backing and catchy track. And, yes, a bit bonkers. I think generic pop doesn't really cut it anymore at Eurovision.
@clickhere@mastodon.ie"Lipstick"? That's an absolute banger! 
@clickhere yup, that's the one :)