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And thanks to the unsurpassed expertise of @donalmulligan, here's a comprehensive #Eurovision primer for those seeking to learn more about this important annual event:
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/u/0/d/1bsuSIdMnqrMShy_lASEEhNed68oX7vfXz3qWnZvgFk4/htmlview#
finland!
* bangs table *
Finland!!
FINLAND!!!
Greetings, Europe, from the #Ireland jury!
Käärijä and Conor MacSweeney are the same person, don't @ me
#Käärijä
#Eurovision
#Finland
#Ireland
#TheYoungOffenders
#MastoDaoine
Marty Whelan saying somebody is a "huge TikTok person" will never not be funny.
#Portugal - it's a sim from me! 
#Switzerland there, attempting to be earnest and worthy, but singing about not wanting to be "a soldier on the frontline" in an Extremely Neutral Country.
I don't think you've anything to worry about, hun.
#Israel are up now, presumably taking a short break from murdering children.
Sorry, #Moldova this flutey business don't impress me much.
EVERYONE RESUME WHAT YOU WERE DOING.
It's the Terrible Pear.
(That's a niche reference.)
Oh no. The well-intentioned #Czechia entry re-worked their staging and it's so much worse. 
Brave falsetto, but there's not much else to say about this one, sorry #Netherlands
* sighs resignedly in Irish *
Seconds out, Round 2 - here we go! 
Oh dear, poor #Denmark has the vocal skills of me in the shower, the poor poppet.
Oh, I was nodding off nicely to #Armenia and then she goes and kicks off with all of that carry-on.
@clickhere I'm gutted for you, that was a good song!
Thanks!
Though, to be fair, I didn't think it was an especially strong song - but I do think it was better than a few of them that got through.. 
@clickhere For sure, not a winner but def worthy of the final imo
That's very generous of you! (I'm less forgiving..)
@clickhere Ireland's going to have to really step up a bit to qualify in the future. Today's entry was just too standard, and 'everyone together' too sappy. Easily lost. I listened to Ireland's #eurovision winning #TheVoice earlier today, which was stunning. But Ireland hasn't sent anything different and evocative like that in ages.
Yeah, they need to learn how to be genuinely fabulous or genuinely bonkers. This bland stuff is just no.
@clickhere I admit to secretly liking #Jedward's #eurovision entry back in the day from #Ireland. Nice electro backing and catchy track. And, yes, a bit bonkers. I think generic pop doesn't really cut it anymore at Eurovision.
"Lipstick"? That's an absolute banger! 
@clickhere yup, that's the one :)
@clickhere A massive round of applause to you for listening through all the songs. I couldn't last it any more! And then you go and post about them! 
.
We used to have some very good sounds, but we seem to have lost our way a bit. But an honest thanks to you.
Aw, thank you! Just chipping in a little bit to the #Eurovision fest as much as I can. I'm glad you enjoyed the vicarious watching! 
@clickhere our first year without Twitter for Eurovision. :(
@elliottucker It's a change, a wrench.. but I'm okay with it.
@donalmulligan @clickhere disagree on Latvia. They had the most interesting song musically speaking thanks to the way it played with time signatures, and they performed it well.
@katzenclavier @clickhere That’s the lovely thing about #Eurovision - there’s something for everyone’s taste and interest. I’m glad you liked it but it wasn’t at all for me!
Yeah, I'm afraid I could appreciate it but also did not really like it.
@donalmulligan @clickhere Yeah. For instance I know Loreen is a favorite, but Tattoo just bored me!
I know what you mean - love Loreen (*respectful pause*), and the song is really good, but I don't think it's #Eurovision material.
(I may now have to go into hiding..)
@donalmulligan @clickhere I’m rooting for #Croatia anyhow. Not only is it peak #Eurovision this year, they’ve also got shades of Queen in there. 