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TygerKrash

Waiter: Good Evening sir, would you like to hear the specials?

Customer: Yes , please .

Waiter: THIS TOWN (tow-own) IS COMING LIKE A GHOST TOWN.

@tygerkrash @awfulwoman

“All the clubs have been closed down!”

@nxskok you'll have to illuminate me on that one.

@tygerkrash "falling off the chair laughing".

@nxskok nice like a slightly more polite ROFLMAO

@tygerkrash You're wondering now how you'll pay for the way you misbehaved.

@tygerkrash
WHERE (where)
DIDJA GET THAT BLANK (blank)
EXPRESSION ON YOUR FACE!

@tygerkrash

TOO MUCH FIGHTING ON THE DANCE FLOOR!

@tygerkrash "it's how we get rid of surplus food in the kitchen. Today, for example, we've done too much foo yung."

@tygerkrash

A number of years ago, I was working late with a colleague.

Her: I kind of need to go in about fifteen minutes - an old mate of mine is in town with his band and he asked me to go along.

Me: Anybody I'd have heard of?

Her: The Selecter.

Me: GO NOW! I'LL MOP THE FLOORS, LOCK UP AND DO THE BANKING! WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?

@tygerkrash I hate that I'm old enough to understand this.

@tygerkrash if he sings A Rat In Mi Kitchen, you know he's going to collect his UB40.

(Niche 80s joke) I have had one and needed it to sign on every fortnight for a short while.

@tygerkrash

Nice! But maybe: "all you punks and all you teds! Naional front and natty dreads! Keep on fighting til your dead."

@tygerkrash Sign in my local restaurant:

The Chefs Special
But we treat him like anybody else

@tygerkrash I would boost this infinity times if I could. Thanks for the laugh - I don't even care that my coworkers are staring at me as though I were insane