Immer, wenn Täter Opfer attackieren, werden Opfer verdächtigt, sich selbst in die Lage gebracht zu haben und es evtl. sogar zu genießen. Das ganze Scheinwerferlicht scheint aufs Opfer, das verdächtigt wird, an der Täter-Tat Schuld zu sein.
Und der Täter grinst im Dunklen während die Flying Monkeys ihn befeuern. Uh uh ah ah.
What is this, homo sapiens sapiens? Und wann verlernen wir das endlich?
#CoerciveControl
#Abuse - all kinds of -
#Empathie
"Severance: Does Mr. Milchick Know He is Black?" By Alex Beightol
#CoerciveControl
#BlackFedi #Bodies #Smiling #CorporateCulture #Power #Culture #BlackFace #Classism #Cults #WhiteFolks #ScienceFiction #Resist #Passing #Colorism #Hierarchy #Kyriarchy #House #Field #BlackNuance #CorporateHorror #Dystopias #Embodiment #Marked #Feculence #Severance #WhoDoYouThinkYouAre? #racism #technology #AfricanDiaspora #Assimilation #Lumen #Agency
The lives of unpaid carers are exhausting & their work deserves Huge respect. Watching a loved one decline like this is endless grief.
But….
The tone of this piece & others like it is another version of the myth of the ‘good woman’ (even tho some carers are men) - the idea that the ‘right’ way to think about dementia is that the person suffering is a paragon & the adoring carer will sacrifice their own health & well being for as long as it takes.
I wonder whose voices are silenced by this.
What about the people who are bound by circumstance caring for someone who for years has been their abuser? People entrapped in a relationship of coercive control learn they cannot trust their own feelings or judgment, that their worth lies only in serving their abuser & that they are not entitled to be safe. The idea of standing up to a partner who does not want to go into care is unthinkable. Facing their anger is too frightening.
The framing used in pieces like this is another rope binding such people into their learned certainty that ‘if I wasn’t such a failure as a person I could do this’. Looking from this place, for some the only escape that feels possible is their own death.
For all the respect I offer to carers like those in this article, it is the experience of people whose voices are made inadmissible by the framing used here, that breaks my heart 
#AgedCare #Dementia #CoerciveControl
‘I could never, ever not care for her’: how do carers know when to stop caring for those they love? https://www.theguardian.com/society/2025/may/03/i-could-never-ever-not-care-for-her-how-do-carers-know-when-to-stop-caring-for-those-they-love?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other
#CW: talk of abuse, control, and food.
This morning at breakfast my partner apologized for leaving the heel* of the bread loaf for me, and I was reminded of how much my ex used to control my eating.
*there was another loaf thawing, so I could have easily eaten that instead of the heel.
I used to get a "talking-to" for:
- eating the last of anything my ex might want.
- not eating the last of anything my ex didn't want.
- asking for things I wanted (like Swiss cheese**).
- cooking something for myself that they liked.
- cooking something for myself they didn't like.
- not cooking things just the way they liked.
- eating "too much".
- being "too thin".
**earlier in my relationship with my current partner, while we were at the grocery store, they asked if there was any cheese I wanted. I said "I like Swiss" as I broke down crying, following up with "but I'm not really allowed to get it".
My current partner is amazing, and my ex is my ex for a lot of good reasons, and I'm happy-sad crying a bit this morning, and I just want anyone who this list resonates with to know they aren't alone—that's abuse, plain and simple—and you can get out too.
Here's some info on coercive control (just ignore the ad for BetterHelp, because fuck them):
#Elsalvador is being used by tRump like pUtin is using #Belarus; two #NarcissisticPsychopath-ic #dictators driving global citizens to follow #Fascist ideology through #gaslighting, #manipulation and #CoerciveControl, which will end in global #CollectiveGenocide if we don't fight back.
#Educate #organise #resist
#press #news #BreakingNews
https://youtu.be/axBPZh0FQlQ?si=h-kLrqCvQQiNbwWx
#CoerciveControl is a useful concept for making visible the abuses of #power that can occur in hierarchical relationships.
We now see them more easily in #families, #cults & other institutions. Perhaps our next step is to see how people raised in relations of hierarchy learn that the only way to be safe is to either become the biggest #bully in the room or to appease that bully.
So many of the people who achieve power in our #political & other institutions appear to operate like this. While bullying behaviour is seen as normal, or even valorised as a characteristic of alpha masculinity, our cultural framing rules (what we’re allowed to say) & feeling rules (what we’re allowed to feel) obscure it from view. The consequences of a bully’s actions are seen as resulting from the personal failings of those who are harmed. Naming this dynamic becomes a dangerous act.
Sound familiar?
What if our culture‘s assumed hierarchy of human value is mistaken? What if this way of making sense of the world harms us more than it protects? What if we are all connected & our wellbeing depends on the wellbeing of others?
When bullies win, everyone loses. I say yay to every way we make this visible.
This is simple bully tactics. Lead with ‘I have power now & I can hurt you’. Follow with ‘if you are nice to me I’ll only hurt you a bit. Anyone who resists with be punished’. Everyone is cowed & falls in line. There must always be a scapegoat to be an example to others, everyone knows that any day it could be them.
The dynamic is so familiar to anyone who experienced bullying in school. I wonder if this is how the sad man who is driving this was parented? He has clearly learned that being the one running the protection racket is the only way to be safe.
Our cultural acceptance & normalising of #bullying & #CoerciveControl in families, schools, relationships, business & governance enables these abuses.
CW coercive control
Whilst I'm glad #coercivecontrol is being recognised for the #seriousharm it causes, this article is somewhat misleading (or the media have been briefed incorrectly). Any serious harm risks (including coercive control) are already shared with other agencies by the #Probationservice, this is not something new. It is disingenuous to infer otherwise.
Coercive control to be put on par with other types of #domesticabuse in England and Wales | Domestic violence | The Guardian
https://www.theguardian.com/society/2025/feb/03/coercive-control-domestic-abuse-england-wales
Back in #familycourt again tomorrow fighting for more time with my #kids
#Eldest #Children Suffer Under #CoerciveControl #DomesticViolence
#Domesticabuse harms the #eldestchild the most. Here's how to help.
This is about coercive control in relationships but this part made me think about Gaza.
https://open.substack.com/pub/dremmakatz/p/shes-not-innocent-either-actually
"Beware that, when fighting monsters, you yourself do not become a monster... for when you gaze long into the abyss. The abyss gazes also into you." - Friedrich Nietzsche.
15-24 year old girls are most at risk of coercive controllers.
Watch Molly Geddes’ powerful 6 minute short film Where We Stop
We need to talk about the wider range of abuse beyond sexually based offences.
Over the years I've known (young) people who were very taken with this organisation, some doing the gap year.
Leaving aside creepy individual conduct, when reporting on what factors contributed, the phrases "the notion of spiritual celebrity and the anointed leader" and "failure to take action when matters became known" leap out.
This is what #CoerciveControl looks like. This is how perpetrators get away with it.
Alicia thinks she will be killed by her controlling ex. She says police won’t listen until ‘there’s a dead body’ https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2024/oct/10/alicia-thinks-she-will-be-killed-by-her-controlling-ex-she-says-police-wont-listen-until-theres-a-dead-body?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other
More provinces need to follow Quebec's example on this: Quebec pioneers training to recognize coercive control as intimate partner violence #Saskatchewan #Canada #intimatepartnerviolence #coercivecontrol
https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/montreal/quebec-pioneers-training-coercive-control-intimate-partner-violence-1.7342046
As someone who has never used Siri & has had it turned off since it was first introduced, I find this weirdly creepy from Apple.
All of it is weird & creepy, but adding a friend’s name as a sampler, even more fucking creepy.
It also shows me Apple doesn’t know my friend or I, or how we communicate. Which, may seem like a small positive, but it’s still creepy for trying.
#Apple #iOS18 #CreepyAsFuck #AMess
#coercivecontrol #Stalking
Social workers get 1 hour total on their courses on #coercivecontrol and #genderbased violence!
'After five years in the job, social worker Cintia estimates about 90% of her caseload is linked to psychological and controlling abuse, yet her university course barely mentioned it.'
My recent experience of being violently attacked occurred when I came across gender-based, coercive control between my close neighbour and her violent partner. So this strikes home!
🅻🅸🅲🅴 (
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